bittersweet

I  had such a magical past few days. My last days here in California have been nothing but quite surreal. I have spent the best times right by my best friends side.
I woke up in the middle of the night last night and had the most crazy feelings.
I was scared and almost terrified.
Im not sure what it might of been, but I know I will slowly find out.
I had coffee and cinamon rolls and laid under the California sun for the last few hours.
I had my astrology told by one of the coolest women ive ever met.
Everything was correct to the T, and I left the kitchen table speechless.
We took the long ride down the 405 to LAX which actually seemed like a 5 minute car ride.
I said goodbye to everything I have known for the past 6 months. Have I been on vacation? I keep questioning myself. Is it time to go home? It was so mellow and casual. Thank god.
I sit here on these plastic connected movie theatre chairs at the airport surrounded by strangers with my Japanese Umbrella, pea cock feathers, Navajo winter coat, by my side. I'm sipping my $5.00 star bucks coffee and I still don't really know quite what im doing. I do know Im going back to my roots tonight, my streets, my home, my familiarity, and my family.
Grandma Yoya says ill be back in 3 months, or maybe once summer passes.
For now, all I know is that I'm going home hoping and finding that it will all come to me.
How long, I dont know, I dont care.
It will come and I am happy.